google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Randomize
