i love accidental penises.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
