i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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