I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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