I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize