those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
