Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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