But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize