just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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