I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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