I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
