he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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