my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I'd cum for enchiladas.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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