just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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