That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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