i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
