Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
