I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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