College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
