We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
jump out the window naked night went bad
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
