benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
