my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
