I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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