i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
