her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
