So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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