Acid is not a monday night drug
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
