Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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