He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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