I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
