Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
