just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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