summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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