woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
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I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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