Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Banned from zoo.
Again?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
