Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
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The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
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I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.