When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.