All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Hungover. No words. Just memes.