you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize