I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
