I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
