If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
