I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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