sarcasm needs its own font
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
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