I hope mine doesn't look like that
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I touched a dick in church today
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
