I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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