i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I wish there were birth control emojis
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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