honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
