can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
