if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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