he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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