what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
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If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
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Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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