Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
