I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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