this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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