Umm I'm too high to move.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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