Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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