Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize