I hate your face
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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