it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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