that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize