I showed him my bush... on skype.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize
