Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
