It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
