therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
