Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Use "feeling words"
Yay
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
