Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
There's always time for handjobs
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
