Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
