The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
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