Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize