bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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